5 mistakes visitors must avoid in Paris, France! by Alex Wagner
ï’§ Mistake #1: Being insulted by a so-called rude Frenchman
Whenever a swearing Englishman excuses himself with a “Pardon my French”, I can’t help but chuckle. The biggest stereotype about the French here in Paris – their legendary rudeness – is also the most inaccurate, because the French are actually friendly and helpful. That said, there are cultural differences that can lead some to perceive the French as rude. Even during a short stay, you will get accustomed to their particularities.
The key is simply to understand these differences and make a small effort to integrate during your hotel or apartment stay. See, if you stay in Paris without learning anything at all about Paris customs and social behaviour, then you will tend to behave in a way that the Parisians perceive as extremely rude, and they will simply reflect that rudeness back at you, while you’ll have no idea where it’s coming from. This might be one reason to rent an apartment rather than stay in a hotel – to integrate better into local life.
Here are some simple pointers:
ï’§ Walking up to a Frenchman and speaking English right off the bat, under the assumption that English is spoken by everyone on Earth, is seen as rude and inconsiderate in Paris. Always attempt to speak at least a little token French. Simply saying “Bonjour! Parlez-vous Anglais?” (Pronounced bon-jouh, pah-lay vooz ahn-glay). It simply means, “Hello, do you speak English?” and it makes a huge difference. Many French, who would otherwise ignore you and walk away, will suddenly speak fluent English if you just show a token effort at trying their language.
ï’§ Be sure to greet strangers (a simple “bonjour” is fine) before launching into other requests. In France, it is considered rude to just walk up and start talking like one does in America for example.
ï’§ Hush! The French are a somewhat low-key and hushed people, tending to talk softly – their voices don’t carry in the streets, on the Metro, or even when they’re sitting at the next table. Americans in particular tend to be far louder, speaking at a level as if oblivious to their neighbours or surroundings. This kind of extrovert behaviour is seen as very obnoxious by the French, so best make an effort to blend in by keeping your voice low. This is also true with respect to your Paris apartment neighbours (if you rent short term rather than stay in a hotel). Please respect their peace and quiet.
ï’§ Americans and some other Anglo-Saxon cultures are very friendly when it comes to personal space. A Frenchman on the other hand likes about 1 meter of space between him and the person he’s talking to, otherwise he or she might perceive you as an invasive presence. Just stand back a little more than you might naturally.
ï’§ The French don’t quite have the enthusiasm of Americans, and are more reserved. A Frenchman is far less likely than an American to break into a wide toothy grin each time they meet someone new. Furthermore, their service culture is far less extrovert, with no “Hi, how can I help you today?” or “Have a nice day!” extroversion. Don’t think locals don’t like you or are being rude; they’re just more subdued in the short term.
ï’§ The more you know about (and imitate) french customs, the more you will be integrated and the less likely it is that you will be perceived as rude. Now that you know that the French are generally only rude when they reflect back perceived rudeness, you’ll find that a bit of education and knowledge will generally make the “rude French” vanish, replaced by a smiling, helpful and understanding people. Your Paris hotel or apartment stay will only be more pleasant as a result.
Oh, there is an exception to the rule: French waiters really are mostly rude, and no amount of social skill on your behalf will get past that. Even their fellow compatriots think they’re rude. Best to just reframe their rudeness as a quirky local charm and smile at it. That’s what I do!
ï’§ Mistake #2: Making a hash of your restaurant meal
Everyone knows that Paris is a great city for foodies, with a large choice of good restaurants in every Paris district wherever your apartment or hotel is. Less people know why this is so. It’s a combination of 3 factors: 1) the French love their food and it is even an important topic of conversation for them, 2) space being at a premium, Parisians typically live in small Paris apartments and don’t have dining rooms in their apartments to entertain, 3) despite often living in very basic non-descript apartment interiors – they don’t entertain at home, so don’t view this as important – Parisians do like to go out and be seen in nice surroundings, showing them in a good light. This out-of-apartments culture means there are a huge number of good restaurants in Paris for you to enjoy within 5 mins walk of your apartment or hotel. Take advantage, but also take care not to mess your meal up by observing a few cultural tips.
ï’§ Don’t go too early: A Parisian will never have diner before 8pm, so going before then means that the restaurant will be devoid of atmosphere, which is a shame. If you can wait for 9pm then that’s better still, and best is perhaps to have a pre-dinner “apéro” in your apartment before going out. If it’s any comfort, the Spanish have diner much later still…
ï’§ Don’t order A la carte: unless you’ve got your eye on something specific, it’s advisable to go for the fixed-price menu. These menus, grouping together starter and main course, or main course and desert, or all three, offer great value for money and usually have much of the best things included, so you won’t be missing out either. The exception would be the “tourist menus” offered by some eateries you’ll find close to your apartment or hotel (short term Paris apartment rentals are in areas popular with tourists after all). If you see the word tourist, simply walk away as the food will be bland and the prices high.
ï’§ Don’t order aperitif: nobody orders “kir” anymore (refreshing white wine with a dash of cassis) and this aperitif has become distinctly unfashionable. In fact, Parisians don’t usually go for an apéro at the restaurant, preferring instead to have a pre-dinner drink at the apartment or in a nearby café, perhaps on a terrace, before heading to the restaurant. So when the waiter asks, “Vous desirez un apéritif?”, you certainly shouldn’t feel obligated to say, “Bien sûr!”, especially since a round of four will set you back at least 25